PARENTING HUMOR
Ninja Jellyfish Wrestling
Advanced toddler warfare techniques
When we were both working, my husband’s responsibility was to get our toddler up and ready to go to her day home each morning. Now that I’m not gainfully employed, this delightful job is all mine. Wrangling my toddler out of the house each morning is daunting; I’d liken it to ‘ ninja jellyfish wrestling,’ if there were such a thing. I cannot even contemplate getting more than one toddler out of the house by a particular time of day. Did you know that a group of jellyfish is called a smack? As in, ‘Just smack me in the face,’ or ‘I must be on smack,’ if I so much as even contemplate going anywhere with a group of toddlers. It’s probably a good idea to steer clear of a smack of jellyfish too. The day home mom has my respect, my admiration and my money. You could say she’s a professional ninja jellyfish wrestler. She wrestles an entire smack of ninja jellyfish every single day. It completely boggles my mind, so I need to move on.
Huh?
It’s been several months since our darling little cherub spent her mornings cooing lovingly at her Daddy as he got her ready each day. To say the morning routine has changed slightly since the ‘Daddy Days’ would be a colossal and gigantic understatement, so let’s go with epically. It changed epically. And…